Tuesday, March 12, 2013

In Which I Take Back Paradise

Day 12: Something I Miss

I've been sitting at this computer reading through old blog posts and missing my old house more than I can find words to express. It all started when I accidentally changed my layout to the flipcard style and all the pictures of our backyard, our golden retriever, and our swimming pool appeared. Of course I started skimming the posts, and now I'm horribly homesick. What on earth possessed us to move away from paradise?

Unfortunately, paradise is far, far away from an LDS chapel (yeah, I'm aware of the irony in that statement. So were most of the pioneers, I think.). That ultimately was the reason we moved, and I have faith we'll be blessed for it. We are being blessed. We have great neighbors, and my kids are finally involved in all the extra-curricular activities we could never quite manage before. But I'm beginning to realize the source of this empty feeling inside.

Things were easier there. I didn't have to try so hard to make time for family or to find things to do. Of course it wasn't perfect. It was a quirky house. Plus, my teenagers had practically stopped using our swimming pool, and as L, J and I splashed around, my heart would worry about the other two kids. But still, it was a good place, and I really dislike my house now. The other house WAS part of our family, and this house just houses our family.

And me? I've been a writer for too long. Perhaps I'm saying that wrong. I'll always be a writer, but I panic if I don't have a good writing project going. I think it's time to unleash some of that creative energy onto my home. Unfortunately, that means spending money--money I haven't earned as a writer, and that I barely earn as a preschool teacher. I don't know how to make a house a home. I've been very lucky to have homes handed to me up until now.

I'm going to start using this blog to capture that journey.
  • I'm shelving any writing projects that aren't already well underway. The ones that I truly care about will get my attention until they are finished.
  • I'm making my health a priority.
  • I'm going to turn my house into a home.
  • I'm going to strengthen the relationships with the most important people in my life--my family
  • I'm going to find joy in the things I love to do.
Wow. Do you see how well those goals could transfer into blog posts? Do I really want to commit to writing 5 posts a week? Probably not. But if I work on those in order, perhaps I can settle into a natural rhythm.

**As I looked back through my posts, I also realized that my favorite posts came from the 31 Day Blog Challenge I took part in a couple of years ago. I googled 31 Day Blog Challenge, and found a great one that is on-going. Then SERENDIPITY! The topic for March 12 just happens to be "Something I Miss." It is kismet. I am jumping right in, mid-challenge.

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