30 Day Blog Challenge--Day 25: My Favorite (Funny) Quotes

Fasten your seatbelts...I've been looking forward to this topic for a long time. I love quotes! At first I thought I'd do all my serious quotes, like "Try your best to make goodness attractive. That's one of the toughest assignments you'll ever be given." (That's Mr. Rogers, of course.)

But, when I woke up this morning, I wasn't in a very serious mood. I'll save those quotes for day 31 or something. So. Without further ado...my favorite NOT serious quotes!

The Mortal Instruments books:

• "Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?'
  Jace said, "Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself."
  Dorothea roared at that. "At least," she said, "you don't have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland."
  "Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting."

• Jace said, "Somehow, I thought it would be bigger."
  Clary looked at the Cup in her hand. It was the size, perhaps, of an ordinary wineglass, only much heavier. Power thrummed through it, like blood through living veins. "It's a perfectly nice size," she said indignantly.
  "Oh, it's big enough," he said patronizingly, "but somehow I was expecting something… you know." He gestured with his hands, indicating something roughly the size of a house cat.
  "It's the Mortal Cup, Jace, not the Mortal Toilet Bowl," said Isabelle. 

Ghostbusters:

• Ray: Symmetrical book stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.
  Dr. Venkman: You're right. No human being would stack books like this. 

• Gozer: The Choice is made!
  Dr. Peter Venkman: Whoa! Ho! Ho! Whoa-oa!
  Gozer: The Traveller has come!
  Dr. Peter Venkman: Nobody choosed anything!
  [turns to Egon]
  Dr. Peter Venkman: Did you choose anything?
  Dr. Egon Spengler: No.
  Dr. Peter Venkman: [to Winston] Did YOU?
  Winston Zeddemore: My mind is totally blank.
  Dr. Peter Venkman: *I* didn't choose anything...
  [long pause, Peter, Egon and Winston all look at Ray]
  Dr Ray Stantz: I couldn't help it. It just popped in there.
  Dr. Peter Venkman: [angrily] What? *What* "just popped in there?"
  Dr Ray Stantz: I... I... I tried to think...
  Dr. Egon Spengler: LOOK!
  [they all look over one side of the roof]
  Dr Ray Stantz: No! It CAN'T be!
  Dr. Peter Venkman: What is it?
  Dr Ray Stantz: It CAN'T be!
  Dr. Peter Venkman: What did you DO, Ray?
  [they all see a giant cubic white head topped with a sailor hat, Peter looks at Ray]
  Dr Ray Stantz: [somberly] It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.  

Harry Potter:

• It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. (Dumbledore) (How did that serious quote pop in here? Oops. :D)

• "No, sighed Dumbledore. He is not very happy with me either. We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, Harry, but battle on." Harry grinned.

• I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick.

Howl's Moving Castle:

• Howl said, "I think we ought to live happily ever after," and she thought he meant it..."It should be hair-raising." 
"You'll exploit me," Sophie said.

"And then you'll cut up all my clothes to teach me," said Howl.

Firefly:

• Wash: Yes, yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive (as Stegosaurus:) We will rule over all this land, and we will call it...This Land. (as T-Rex:) I think we should call it...your grave! (as Stegosaurus:) Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!" (as T-Rex:) Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh...now die!

• Mal: Well, look at this. Appears we got here just in the nick of time. Whaddya suppose that makes us? 
Zoe: Big damn heroes, sir.

          Mal: Ain't we just.

• (Zoe, Mal and Jayne are backed up against the edge of a cliff by an angry mob)
  Mal: There's just an acre of you fellas, ain't there? (to Zoe: This is why we lost, you know. Superior numbers. 
  Zoe: Thanks for the re-enactment sir. 

Dr: Horrible's Sing-Along Blog:

• Dr. Horrible: And by the way it's not about making money, it's about taking money. Destroying the status quo because the status is not quo. The world is a mess and I just need to rule it.

• Dr. Horrible: Wow. Sarcasm. That's original.

Your turn! What are your favorite quotes?